Man Buys Fitness Hardware and Apps: Plans to Exercise "Soon"

DUBUQUE, IOWA -- Area man Charles Goodman decided to kick off the fall with an in intense diet and exercise program, although he has yet to do any actual exercise or change his unhealthy eating habits. "Before I start my exercise plan I want to make sure all of the pieces are in place," Goodman told us by Skype Thursday morning. "I realized I needed to do something.

Microsoft Reveals Plans to Integrate Minecraft Into Windows 10

REDMOND, WA -- Microsoft Corporation, which purchased Mojang, Inc, the company which developed the hugely popular game Minecraft, has announced its plans to integrate the game's user interface into its upcoming Windows 10 release.

According to spokesperson Syndney Creeper, "We've redesigned the entire Windows Operating System around Minecraft. We think users will really like it."

Free U2 Album is Just More Socialism Say Republicans

WASHINGTON, DC -- Several prominent Republicans expressed outrage this week over Apple Corporation giving 300 million people free copies of the new U2 album.

"We have a major first-world problem on our hands," said House Speaker John Boehner. "Somehow Apple thinks they have the right to use the tubes of the internet to send people free music. Well, this liberal democratic communist socialism will not stand!"

Study: Masochists Prefer Land Lines

BLOOMINGTON, IN -- The Kinsey Institute has released a new study indicating that masochists are 15 times more likely than the general population to have land lines. Masochists felt the $60 a month they paid for their land lines was a fair price given the ceaseless amount of humiliation and harassment offered by telemarketers. Non-masochists indicated they planned to cancel land line service at some point in the future. Click through to read more.

Review: Kindle Unlimited

SEATTLE, WA -- Kindle announced this week an "All You Can Read" plan called "Kindle Unlimited". This week we had the Cyberlady review it.

Earl and I always liked going to the All-You-Can-Eat buffet down at the Sizzler after church so anything that gives you more for less is a great deal, especially if Milly from church looks the other way when I stuff my purse full of rolls. So when the folks at this web site asked me to take a look at the Kindle thingy I thought it sounded pretty good, but then they told me it meant letting the internet into my house. I've always been skeptical of the internet ever since I got that letter from the lady who came home and found her husband with his pants down.

Coolify Lets Your Friends Think You Listen to Better Music Than You Really Do

SANTA CLARA, CA -- CoolMusic has released "Coolify", an app that changes your Spotify playlists before posting them online so that your friends think you listen to cooler music than you actually do.

For example, here's what one of our staffers actually listened to on Spotify:

And here's what showed up on their Facebook page after processing through Coolify.


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