Study: Masochists Prefer Land Lines

BLOOMINGTON, IN -- The Kinsey Institute has released a new study indicating that masochists are 15 times more likely than the general population to have land lines.

Among the highlights of the study:

  • Masochists listened to an entire phone call offering a free cruise, whereas non-masochists hung up after an average of four seconds.
  • Masochists were ten times more likely to get their wallets when told they had to "act now".
  • Masochists felt obligated to answer robocalls from politicians while eating dinner, whereas non-masochists tended to curse out government and politicians when such calls were received.
  • Masochists felt the $60 a month they paid for their land lines was a fair price given the ceaseless amount of humiliation and harassment offered by telemarketers. Non-masochists indicated they planned to cancel land line service at some point in the future.
  • Both masochists and non-masochists received the same number of important phone calls vs. telemarketing calls: zero.