Microsoft Reveals Plans to Integrate Minecraft Into Windows 10

REDMOND, WA -- Microsoft Corporation, which purchased Mojang, Inc, the company which developed the hugely popular game Minecraft, has announced its plans to integrate the game's user interface into its upcoming Windows 10 release.

According to spokesperson Syndney Creeper, "We've redesigned the entire Windows Operating System around Minecraft. We think users will really like it."

While the release is still in Alpha and subject to change, some of the more prominent features include:

    • The blue screen of death (BSOD) has been replaced by a hissing sound followed by a loud explosion.
    • The "Start" button is gone. Instead, users press the "E" key on their keyboards to see an inventory of available programs.
    • The icons on the home page have been replaced by a "Program bar" that can contain up to nine programs. Up to 27 additional programs can be stored in "Inventory". If a user has more than 27 programs they can build a chest to store additional programs.
    • Programs can be used on more than one Windows device by dragging them into an Ender Chest, which makes them available regardless of where the user is at the time.
    • Windows starts out with only 10 megs of hard drive space being usable. Users must "mine" for additional space. Coal blocks free up 5 megs, silver blocks 10 megs, gold blocks 25 megs, redstone blocks 50 megs, diamond blocks 100 megs and Obsidian 1 gb.
    • Users wishing to configure Windows settings, view system logs, add hard drives, etc. must go through a Nether Portal before these tasks can be performed.
    • Windows computers will now have "hunger" and shut down if they are not properly fed periodically. Foods range from bread to steak, each offering a specific time period in which the system will be available.
    • Windows will function normally during the day, but random glitches, known as "zombies", will appear in the Operating System at night.