Exclusive Windows 8.5 Sneak Peek

REDMOND, WA -- Microsoft Corporation has given Tech4Days exclusive access to the Windows 8.5 alpha program. Windows 8.5 is the planned upgrade to Windows 8. Microsoft is hoping for a December, 2014 release.

Brenda Glickman, a liaison to the product manager who interfaces with the user interface manager, said:

We've listened to our users and appreciate what they had to say about Windows 8. There were many good things, and some not so good things. You guys loved the "Start" button. We get it. Thousands of you mentioned the "Start" button. On Facebook. On Twitter. On our feedback forms. But, frankly, we're sick of hearing about it. It's gone. It's not coming back--like your dead grandma--so get over it.

When we expressed surprise about the harshness of this statement, Glickman backpedalled somewhat and said:

So, there's no "Start" button. But we did start Windows 8.5 development with the goal of taking things back to a simpler time. We realized we had been spending far too much time coding in response to focus groups, competitor focus groups, the NSA, etc. We took a step back and realized that what we wanted to accomplish had been there all along.

Further prodding got Glickman to confess that Windows 8.5 is nothing more than Microsoft Bob repurposed:

Microsoft Bob was visionary--years ahead of its time. That's why it failed--then. Now, however, we've rechristened Bob as Windows 8.5 and people are going to love it. LOVE IT! And Bob, I mean Windows 8.5, isn't just for the desktop anymore. Our new Surface tablet is going to have Bob, I mean Windows 8.5. Our new Windows Phone will be the size of an original Ma Bell black office phone, but with a touch screen interface featuring Bob...I mean, Windows 8.5. And the great thing is, the bloatware is gone. Bob fit on a single CD, which means Windows 8.5 will also fit.

Glickman went on to say that Microsoft is still considering whether to allow earlier software to run in Windows 8.5.

We've spent too much time on things that really don't fit into the home paradigm of Microsoft Bob, I mean Windows 8.5. Things such as Word Processors, networks, and web browsers. True, users may miss these things initially, because they were accustomed to them. Well, our great grandparents were accustomed to polio and that doesn't mean it was a good thing, does it?

Our discussion was interrupted abruptly, but we were able to capture the following screenshot of the new Windows 8.5 interface.

Microsoft Bob Screenshot