Elderly Man Keeps Land Line

BOISE, ID -- 73 year-old Elmer McTavish's daughter contacted us to let us know that her father was keeping his land line and refused to get a cell phone. We immediately flew to Idaho to interview him.

Tech4Days: Your daughter says you're keeping your land line?
McTavish (MC): What's a land line?

Tech4Days: Your phone? Your old phone. She said you're not getting a cell phone.
MC: Hell no I ain't getting no cell phone. You get a cell phone and the next thing you know Obama is making you get gay-married and buy insurance while he's taking away your guns and Social Security!

Tech4Days: Don't you think a cell phone could be useful? What if you fall and you can't get up?
MC: People fall because of cell phones. The radiation from them goes in your brain and takes away your balance and turns you into a Democrat.

Tech4Days: Don't you get a lot of annoying calls?
MC: Hell no! If it wasn't for this phone how else would Pat Robertson reach out to me and let me know that he needs $2,500 to keep Obama from taking away my guns and turning all the churches into mosques when he imposes that Sharon Law!

Tech4Days: So you're keeping your phone then and not switching to a cell?
MC: They're gonna have to pry this receiver out of my cold, dead hands. Now, I want you to be sure to know that I'm not a selfish man. I gave this guy from Nigeria $1,000 to help him get out of the country when he called. I also helped out my friend Phil from down at the gas station. He called to tell me he was trapped in the Phillipines and had lost his passport and stuff. He was so upset it didn't even sound like him. I sent him $2,500 so he could get back home. It was the damndest thing, too, because when I talked to him last night at the station he didn't say nothing about going to the Phillipines.