CYBERSPACE -- 1,500 early adopters of Google Glass committed virtual suicide last night when they learned that Google was discontinuing the product.
"I couldn't believe it," said Glass afficionado Angel McLaren. "I *love* my Google Glass. It's so much fun to walk into a bar and piss people off just by wearing it!"
"Glass was my entire identity," said David Gedintis. "I love how superior it made me feel amongst the commoners."