September 2013

Brian Eno to Compose Default Beep

SURREY, ENGLAND -- Samsung has scored a marketing coup and hired producer and recording artist Brian Eno to create a new default "beep" sound for their next generation Android phone. Eno is reportedly being paid $1.5 million for this effort.

In 1994, Eno created the approximately three second "Microsoft Sound" used in Windows XP.

When contacted by phone, Eno said:

Gloria Allred Sues TechCrunch

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Celebrity Civil Rights Attorney Gloria Allred has sued San Francisco based TechCrunch over sexist presentations at its Disrupt SF event. Two presentations, one focused on an app for viewing female cleavage and another in which a presenter simulated self manipulation, stunned journalists looking for something, anything, to write about a conference that is infinitely boring to anyone with a non-technical background.

The Cyberlady Compares Tablets

The nice people from that place I write for asked me to compare any three tablets I wanted so I did. I'll start off by saying that none of them are as powerful as the tablets that Moses brought down from Mount Sinai, but that doesn't mean they still can't be useful and have their place in the world sometimes, like my lazy son-in-law Bucephelus who says he repairs motorcycles but can't even figure out how to give me a grandchild for Pete's sake.