Nordstrom Holds "Virtual Black Friday"

NEW YORK--Upscale Department Store Nordstrom decided to make its wealthy clients experience what Black Friday is like for those not in the 1% by semi-crippling their web site.

According to Milton Puffersnuff III, the Vice President of IT, "Each aspect of the site was designed to mimic the experience of a sub-Nordstrom customer in a typical Department Store on a Black Friday".

Exclusive First Look at iCar

CUPERTINO, CA -- For months now, people have been speculating about Apple's forthcoming iCar, the company's first foray into the automotive world. Tech4Days has been skulking around the Tech Bus Stops and, in between being hit with donuts by protesters, we've learned about the new car and many of its features.

According to our anonymous source, the Apple iCar will:

Microsoft Watch Released

REDMOND, WA -- Microsoft announced today the release of its new Windows 8.1 Plus Smart Watch. The watch will come in one color, blue, and have one band, also blue.

The watch features a 100x100 LED display and has two apps: "What Time is It?" and "What Day Is It?". The watch connects to a home WiFi network, unless the network is secured, in which case the watch won't work. Battery life is estimated to be 18 minutes.

"Glassholes" Commit Mass Suicide

CYBERSPACE -- 1,500 early adopters of Google Glass committed virtual suicide last night when they learned that Google was discontinuing the product.

"I couldn't believe it," said Glass afficionado Angel McLaren. "I *love* my Google Glass. It's so much fun to walk into a bar and piss people off just by wearing it!"

"Glass was my entire identity," said David Gedintis. "I love how superior it made me feel amongst the commoners."


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